Hold Your Peace

“Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury (charge interest), every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them.“

Nehemiah 5:7

My mouth has gotten me into trouble more times than I would like to admit, and I am sure it will continue to do so even though my desire is to not allow it. I have said things that have cost me relationships, my reputation, and gotten me in hot water at school and work. There are many times when I should have let things go, but I simply could not refrain my tongue and I let it loose like a dangerous dog void of its leash. There have been times when I could have just held my peace, but I decided to defend myself instead. There is great wisdom in remaining silent and there is not much one can say against you when you say nothing.

I was working in a retail job, and I had become friends with my boss. He had come over to our house for Thanksgiving, and we even exchanged Christmas gifts, which was a big deal to me. He came over to my home for other meals, and he even helped break up some tile for a DIY project. We butted heads from time to time, and it was much worse in the beginning of his tenure. He was tall, athletic and handsome, and I was…well, none of those things. I was a bit jealous of him to be honest as he came in as an up-and-comer, although he did not know much. I thought I could do the job better than he and my old boss did not trust him either. We worked past all of this and I had to apologize from time to time due to my mouth and attitude, and we became close until the end of his tenure at my store.

Rumor was going around that we were going to get a visit from corporate and our store was going to get throughly inspected. It was also rumored that my boss would lead the visit, and this was his opportunity to shine and get signed off so that he could run his own store. It would be a huge promotion for him and I was excited for him, although he had told me none of this. We worked hard to get the store ready and to make sure he shined, and it seemed the visit went really well, although my boss still shared none of this with me. It seemed he told everyone else how great the visit went, and I became peeved as I felt I was slighted. I felt we were friends and close co-workers, even though he was my boss. My team worked hard to get the store ready for him, and he casually forgot to tell me anything. I saw him with a big smile on his face days after and getting pats on the back from the higher-ups. Anger swelled up within me, and my disposition towards him turned.

I did everything he asked me to do, but I was a jerk to him as I was really upset with him and did not handle it as I should. He knew something was up, and he called me into his office one day to discuss how I was running my mouth. I should have asked him for some time before going into his office as he was upset and so was I. Instead, I licked my chops knowing I was going to lay into him, and when he asked me what was up, I shared with him all of my angry heart. He tried to retort to what I was telling him, but I laid it on thick as I had been playing this barrage of words in my head for a week or two. One of the things I told him was, “You want to act like you care or you can be a good friend, but it is not in you to care or be a good friend and you may go through the motions, but you know you don’t care because you don’t have the capacity to care.” I could see the anger well up inside of him but more than that, I could see the pain my words caused. His anger subsided into hurt and his shoulders shrank, and he told me to leave his office. I later tried to apologize and he told me he needed to hear that, but things were never the same between us after that. I should have held my peace and consulted with myself and prayed before I said anything.

I still text him on his birthday and we share texts from time to time, but my words hurt him deeply and I learned a tough lesson that day. I have since tried to think about things before I say anything, and I will even get away to ponder my thoughts and words.

Do you say all that is in your head or do you take time to ponder your thoughts and prepare your words? Do you stay silent when you should or do you have to give everyone a piece of your mind to the point where there is very little left to think about what you will say next? Psalm 19:14 states, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” May we guard our words and may what we think about and say be pleasing to Him. Consult with Him before uttering foolishness. No one ever regrets not saying something that ought not to be said.

Stay in the Fight!


  1. Marta Moreno on 04/20/2023 at 8:38 am

    Words don’t break bones but they break hearts. Love you, Tia To God be the glory!

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