“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.“Romans 7:18-21
There are always right ways and wrong ways to react to any given situation. Our first reaction is rarely our best reaction, but it is often the reaction we choose to take. If we are not walking in the Spirit, it is almost a guarantee that we will not respond in a godly way. We get mad easily at situations that do not merit it, and we overreact to things that are not really a big deal. We misinterpret a given situation, and we react in a way that is not pleasing to God. In was noted during the Covid time, that domestic violence shot though the roof as families were forced to spend time together, which did not always end in a positive way. There were kids who were involved in physical altercations and spouses who acted in the same sinful way. It was sad to see that a time that should have brought families together seemed to tear them apart. I was personally thankful for this season as we got to spend time together that was not usually afforded us.
Before I got married, I subscribed to the fairytale of a life that was “happily ever after”. I dreamed I would come home from work and my wife would run out of the house to greet me with the biggest smile and kiss. I dreamed of steak dinners, foot rubs, and a neck massage after a hard day’s worth of work. I did not anticipate any problems as I envisioned things would be great. I was marrying my junior high sweetheart whom I loved, and she loved me, so what could possibly go wrong? I did not think of my sinful flesh, and I thought if I got everything I wanted, “life would be a dream” just like the Crew Cuts sang many years ago. Although I made my wife cry prior to our wedding , I thought everything would change once we exchanged our vows and were committed for life. Well, I was wrong on many accounts, and my new married life brought out the worst in me.
I had every intention of being the perfect husband and being the kind and loving person I wanted to be. I did not take into account that I was living with someone else who I needed to consider, and my way of choice was inconsiderate and selfish. Although I wanted to be the world’s best husband, I fell short on all accounts. One time, Rebekah and I had gotten into a pretty good argument and she was not one for fighting, so she walked away from me and into our bedroom. I was one for fighting, so I quickly followed after her hoping to continue my verbal tirade. She was not wanting this, so she slammed the door behind her and locked it. I did not receive this well.
I checked the door to open it and the door was locked shut. This did not calm me down, but it was like gasoline on a fire. I tried to still open the door but the lock would not budge. I told her to open the door, and she told me she was done fighting and would not open it for all the money in the world. My fire began to build within me, and I pounded on the door demanding for the door to be opened. I did not take into consideration that the door was not very thick and my hand went right through the fabricated wood. My emotions immediately went from rage to feeling like a fool. The door opened after that, and we both looked at the hole in the door. The argument I wanted to engage in did not seem so important anymore, and I felt so ridiculous for destroying my brand new home. I realize I had gone too far. I taped a Phoenix Coyotes poster over that hole in the door, and it stayed there for several months before I finally bought a new one. It was an expensive mistake that I learned from, and I learned no matter my intentions of wanting to be a good husband, there was evil within me that I needed to deal with.
Although there is evil within us, there is victory in Jesus Christ. He is our hope and help to combat against our flesh, and to give us victory through Him. What will you choose today? Will you succumb to the evil within you, or will you find victory through Jesus Christ? What evil are you struggling with today? Is it your temper? Your selfishness? May we confess to God what needs to be changed, and may our good intentions be bathed in full dependence on almighty God.