“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”Ephesians 5:25
I like to make New Year’s resolutions, and one of them I made for 2021 was to date my wife like I did when I was trying to win her heart for marriage. I was not my true self when we first started dating, as I was being someone I always wanted to be but definitely was not. I tried to be my best self in all aspects, although the real me came out pretty quickly, and I did enough impressing to move on to the next phase of our relationship. The caveat to my goal of dating my wife like I did when I was trying to win her heart is to do so without all the drama I brought about when we were younger.
Our dating at times was the best thing in the world, and at other times I made it the most miserable. My goal is to strive for the best thing and leave the miserable times in the past. Rebekah and I have been married for 21 years, and we have grown quite comfortable with each other. Comfort can sometimes bring with it complacency, which can bring about neglect and taking the ones we love for granted. Proverbs 10:22 states “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” We can forget the good wife God has given us, and we can forget the favor He has given us with the helpmeet He has provided. We sometimes allow our temper to get the best of us, and we often take it out on the one God has given us. We forget the woman we fell in love with, and we forget how precious she really is.
I want to love my wife as Christ loved the church. We sometimes treat this verse in Ephesians as if it is simply a suggestion, instead of treating it as the command it is. When we complain about our wives, it is displeasing to the Lord as He created woman. Genesis 2:18 states, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Complaining is the opposite of gratitude, and instead of complaining and being angry with our wife, we should be thankful to God who saw fit that she was needed in our life. I have not always been thankful as I should have been for my spouse, and God has convicted me of this lately. Life is short and we never know when our final goodbye will be, so it best to live in obedience with no regret.
God brought Rebekah into my life, so that our marriage would be a picture of the church (the bride) and Himself (the husband). He designed marriage to be pleasing to Him and impactful to the world through its godly example. He did not design the wife to be a slave to her husband, nor did he design her to be the one to take the brunt of the cruelty of our anger. We not only hurt our wives with this sinful and ungodly behavior, but this displeases almighty God who favored us and gave us a helpmeet that we are to cherish and love.
Where are you today, husband? How would your wife rate your marriage on a scale of 1-10? If you don’t know, ask her. Is God pleased with the way you treat your wife? Is He pleased with how you love her? When was the last time you thanked God for your wife? When was the last time you took time to tell her you appreciate her? I Peter 3:7 states, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them “according to knowledge (with understanding), giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” May we love and honor our wives in a way that would be pleasing to God, and have a marriage that would be a light to this world. What changes do you need to make today?